Neurodiversity 5 of 7: Sensory struggles in neurodivergents

All neurodivergents are highly sensitive. Many of the struggles that neurodivergents face daily are because of these sensory issues. Any parent of an autistic child will know that something simple like a scratchy label in the kid’s jersey can cause so much frustration they are completely unable to focus on anything else, and can have a meltdown simply because this one sensation was too much in their world of sensory overwhelm.

If you understand some things about autism you might say to me “but hold on, my autistic friend actually has problems recognizing others’ emotions and intentions; she struggles to know when she is hungry or thirsty (interoception), and she definitely cannot identify her own emotions. You just said she is highly sensitive and can feel everything better – how does that work?”. And you would be right. Why is it that those who are highly sensitive often end up struggling to identify their sensations, almost like they are less able to feel them? There are many reasons for this, but I have identified three so far.

1. Trauma

Being highly sensitive is extremely overwhelming. Being born highly sensitive is traumatizing. Children are not born with the capacity to regulate their own emotions and stress responses; they have to learn this from their parents over time. In the time between birth and the point where they master self-regulation, there are many situations in which they are overwhelmed by sensation (from their environment, from their inner bodies, from their caregivers’ emotions, etc). This causes extreme stress, and, without being able to say what they’re feeling, they endure that discomfort without anybody knowing why they are so upset. Until a child can communicate how they feel, it is almost impossible to care for their sensory needs properly. Trauma responses start being ingrained early on while the brain is still developing, and this has huge consequences later in life. Even those sensitives who grew up in perfect home circumstances with amazing parents will have early life trauma, even if simply from the overwhelm caused by their sensory environments. Most highly sensitives have a level of self-numbing to their own sensations, including their emotions and intuitions, because of early childhood survival mechanisms.

2. High self-awareness

Many neurodivergents are also highly intelligent, have much more self-awareness, and mentally perceive the world in a much deeper way than neurotypicals. When you live with high-powered mental capacities, you will likely use them to control those things that are overwhelming, like your sensory environment. This tendency to intellectualize and mentally control yourself can lead to a disconnection from your body (and your emotions and sensations), because you tend to prioritize everything mental over everything physical or emotional. The mental space is where you feel powerful and in control, but the physical, sensory and emotional world is where you feel overwhelmed and out of control – of course you’ll mentally cut that off to survive. Having strong mental capacities is often called ‘giftedness’, and this often occurs in neurodivergent people, although it can also occur in neurotypicals.

3. Overstimulating world

The modern world is an overstimulating place, even for low-sensitivity neurotypicals. A highly sensitive brain takes in everything, and so has a much larger load of information it must process. I once met a woman who told me she has a “processing-based brain”, and that she needs a lot of alone time for her brain to process everything she experiences and takes in from the world. I love this description, and this is definitely true for most neurodivergents. Processing time does not have to be sitting alone in silence (although that helps some of us). It can also mean spending time in easier, more relaxing environments like taking a walk along the beach or through a forest. Usually it means “time away from people”, since humans are the most overstimulating things in the world. I am lucky to live in a small town, and I cannot imagine the pain that sensitives go through who live in big cities and are surrounded by the noise of traffic and machines buzzing around them at all times, with little freedom to get away from the noise.

It’s not hard to understand then that being highly sensitive in itself can cause a multitude of daily struggles, and most neurodivergents have anxiety for this exact reason. Receiving a diagnosis of “generalized anxiety disorder” does absolutely nothing for helping that person manage their anxiety, if nobody ever digs deeper into where the anxiety might be coming from.

Sensory feedback loops

When we have a thought, let’s say a stressful thought, in our brain, this creates a physical stress response in our body via the nervous system. Our internal bodily senses feel this response and send feedback to the brain about what is happening, to help our brain regulate all our systems. Our brain uses this information to create a story about why this might be happening using context and previous experiences, and creates an emotion appropriate for the situation. It is through our physical reactions that we identify our emotions. Living with chronic stress or trauma, like all highly sensitive people do, disconnects us from our sensory selves. This messes with our sensory feedback, meaning it’s harder for the brain to maintain balance in our systems and to create emotions and behaviours that are appropriate to get us out of the stressful situation and keep us safe. Being connected to our sensory selves is foundational to our mental and physical health, and to our social safety.

Rebuilding sensory connection

Recent research is showing that conditions like anxiety, depression, addiction, IBS and eating disorders are very closely related to a dysregulation in how the body perceives interoceptive input (sensations from our bodies about our internal function) [4]. This shows us that it is extremely important to reconnect to our sensory selves, and find ways to stay connected to what is happening within us, even when (and especially when) that feels uncomfortable. Learning ways to regulate our nervous systems to bring us out of stress responses is essential for all neurodivergents and highly sensitives, and will be a valuable skill for the rest of their lives. This is a necessary step in healing trauma, and finding our way back to our own selves.

Mindfulness is a wonderful way to start this process. Direct your mindfulness to what is going on inside your body and in your sensory system (sometimes called bodyfulness), instead of what is going on around you. Allow yourself to feel everything that is there. Spend time with your own body, asking it how it feels in different parts; asking it to tell you what it needs. Any relaxation or meditation exercise that helps you feel into your own body will help rebuild your sensory connection, and is a treatment for anxiety and depression. See the resources below to get more tips and freebies about this.