We are the spiders of our own web

I love Bali. I’ve travelled to Bali several times, and one of the most amazing trips was when I got stuck in Bali for two months during the first COVID lockdown. A few days after I arrived, the airports closed, and I ended up being stuck in a beautiful hotel in the mountains with my Tai Chi teacher and a friend. What a blessing!

We walked almost every day to what is now my favourite waterfall in the world, and the green forests held us as we went through all the “what-strange-end-of-the-world-is-this” emotions that come up when the world locks down all around you. We all have our lockdown stories, and even though I was in one of the most beautiful and healing places in the world, I had my own inner battles going on at the time. It was a time of huge growth, and the pain that goes with it, and it was also a time of deep inspiration. I would look at the trees and see the human spirit. I would look into the water and see the universe. And I had never felt so connected to the natural world in my life.

One day, as I was walking along the tiny path through the forest, I spotted a spider. She was sitting in the middle of her intricately woven web.

Just sitting there.

Waiting.

Watching.

Feeling.

This little spider sparked an interesting idea.

We spend most of our days as humans with our awareness floating around somewhere outside of us. We work, we phone, we drive, we cook, we clean, we take care of others – always focusing on what is ahead, what we have to do next on our plan to get through the day. Our awareness flits around between all these tasks, and sometimes, when a person is very busy, you can see them almost leaning forward, reaching their head out to follow what it is their awareness is focused on. I see it with so many of my patients – their body posture reflects where their focus is most of the time, and these patterns get fixed into their bodies when their fascia stiffens over time.

When we have pain in our bodies, our awareness is forced into that body part, and, mostly reluctantly, we divide our attention between whatever needs doing out there and whatever bothersome body part is wanting attention. Most of us are happy when the body quiets down so that we can once again focus our full attention to the task at hand.

Some of us realize the importance of dragging our awareness back into ourselves, spending time in inner reflection trying to understand ourselves and everything that goes on within us. We focus our efforts on our thoughts and memories, working to find a way through the convoluted tangle of inner voices to build some kind of framework for inner peace.

For the most part, our awareness hovers somewhere ahead of us or within our heads.

But we are not just mental beings, are we? We have a rich inner world for sure, but we also inhabit a  body, and complex energetic fields emanating from it at all times. The space we take up in the world is much larger than we think.

If we imagine this space to be like the spider’s web, then where in that web are we spending most of our time? How regularly do you bring your awareness to your feet, or your sitbones, or your right ear or your left lung? How often do you visit these areas, asking them how they’re doing, making sure they have everything they need?

Most of us go through our lives assuming that when something goes wrong in our bodies, we will be promptly informed, and therefore do not have to keep checking up on it. And yes, that is true. But our information pathways have become stunted, congested and confused. A history of suppressing our emotions, ignoring our bodies and avoiding our pain has created a sensory system that is underdeveloped and blocked in more ways than one, and we can no longer simply ignore it and imagine it will inform us of all the complexities and nuances our bodies and beings need to thrive.

A large part of “going inward” is also the work of opening up our own senses, making friends with them, and learning to read our own signals. We must learn about our senses on all levels. We must learn to feel what our physical bodies need before they get damaged, we must learn how our brains work and create meaning from the world, we must learn how our emotions react to our thoughts and where they hide in our bodies, and we must learn to open up our intuitive senses that keep us informed of everything else that is going on within and around us.

I see all these sensory channels as individual strands on the spiderweb of our being. When they are knotted and convoluted, they cannot transmit clear information. Receiving accurate information from our sensory systems is not only helpful, but crucial in keeping ourselves well and thriving. Traveling regularly through our web to open up knotted areas is therefore an essential part of caring for ourselves.

Freeing our spiderweb can be done on many different levels. Many types of healing work to do exactly this. Because of my background, I love working through the physical body. Working to free the fascia in the body is a great way to dissolve restrictions to the sensory system on a physical level.

Learning to feel into all parts of our bodies opens up our physical and emotional senses. When we find the courage to feel all the sensations present in our bodies, even when challenged, we also find the courage to face our most uncomfortable emotions. We can start unravelling the ways that old trauma and unresolved emotions distort our relationship to ourselves.

When we use our mental power and imagination to visualize our inner body and its biofield, we practice and strengthen our sensory systems. Traveling through our body bringing awareness to previously hidden parts of ourselves, and the courage to face what is there, is the best way to bring healing to these parts, freeing our web and empowering us to live with more ease.

Our spiderwebs can become distorted by our habit to focus our awareness on certain parts of our system only, ignoring others. Where in the spiderweb does your focus live most of the time? Is it always in the head? Is it always on that one painful body part that you fear will act up again? Is it even within your being at all, or is it floating around somewhere outside of you, overly focused on anticipating the needs of your loved ones or meeting that deadline at work? The more we open our senses, the more we can feel into ourselves and direct our awareness to where it is needed.

Like the spider can sense best what is going on in her entire spiderweb when she sits right at the centre of it, we can be most aware of all that is going on within us when we live at the centre of our spiderweb.

To me, the centre of my being is my heart. When I live at the centre of my heart, and look out at the world from there, I am most connected to all parts of myself. I can feel everything that is happening and I keep my energy to myself without forcing or controlling the circumstances outside of me. I no longer give my power away trying to control others. Where is your centre?

When we live within our own centre and become the master of our web, like the spider is of hers, we are most able to keep ourselves healthy, strong and thriving in this world.